


I Found You

by oddfiend



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, M/M, Omega Verse, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 02:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11591250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddfiend/pseuds/oddfiend
Summary: so there was a prompt by anonymous on the AQ: wolfau where Bianca is a rare male omega but everyone thinks she's a beta because that's what drag queens usually are and she's so aggressive and dominate that everyone thought she was an alpha. Bianca uses her heat suppressants but one day she forgets them after BOTS and goes into heat and her roommate happens to be an alpha who is deeply in love with her both as Roy and as Bianca.





	I Found You

Roy spent his whole life running away from himself and everyone else. Acting like other people weren’t running away from him. His parents, siblings, friends. Everyone left him when given the chance.

When he turned 6, a person came to his parents. They had a long chat in the kitchen, and he heard his mother shouting, crying, his father cursing and blaming the person on something. When the person left, his mother came to the patio where he was playing with his toys and looked at him with her big red eyes where he was surprised to find disappointment. She stared at him for what felt like an eternity until he asked her why she was crying and she abruptly slapped him in the face. He started crying not understanding why all of the sudden his mother was hurting him and what did he do to deserve this. His mother shouted at him, saying he wasn’t worth their family, he wasn’t worth their name and if she could she would kick him out right away. She called him a filthy little omega that has no right to exist and he would never be loved by anyone because people hate male omegas and he was going to rot in hell for existing. So much for a loving mother only hours ago. She took all of his toys and gave them to her other children saying that Roy is no more has a right to play with them. From now on Roy would be just a shadow in this house. He didn’t understand a thing but from the laughter his siblings shared he realised he is no longer a part of the family. He is no longer the favourite child to the Haylock family. Whatever he did in his life since that moment never got approval or support.

When Roy turned 12, he encountered the heat for the first time. He came to his mother asking for an advice, knowing she would probably ignore him. She just threw some strange pills right in his face, stating, _“I swear to God if you had a bun in the oven!”_ He didn’t ask what were they for, he just took a glass of water and swallowed one pill. Minutes later the buzzing in his butt calmed down and he felt relieved. He checked them out later, realising they were birth control pills, which would suppress the heat and reverse the cycle every now and then. He had to take them before every heat just to maintain his mind from slipping away and absent-mindedly searching for an alpha who would make the heat a pleasurable time instead of constant buzzing in his lower half. His family disapproval of his existence made him abrasive and aggressive and he hadn’t much friends in school. The only interaction he had with his classmates, were the group assignments they were given from time to time. However, most of the girls from his school were dying to date him but he just brushed them off. They considered him the hottest alpha of all boys in the school and they tried to seduce him by walking in front of him during heat. Didn’t help much as he never paid attention. He saw them just as one night stands and he didn’t do one night stands with people he was supposed to study with. He had quite the opposite opinion on boys though, whom he would always check out and he had a fling with some of them. Nothing more than a good sex, but he picked only betas to cover up his real status. He didn’t do relationships, he never wanted to break someone’s heart as he broke his mother’s. 

When Roy turned 17, he realised it wasn’t his fault he got to be born as an omega. He saw couples where the woman was alpha, the man was omega, and they were happy. He was jealous. The idea of him being loved by someone was so stupid and unrealistic to him that he never even tried to find the alpha. He just stuck with that he was born to be alone. Despite the cute couples he had seen over the years, he still believed male omegas were to be bullied and disrespected. His life was shaped with what his mother always said to him and that weren’t good things. Never. On his senior year’s Valentine’s Day he decided to visit a club downtown where his classmates would never appear. He faked his ID and got through the face control, praising himself for looking older than he actually was. After ordering his first cocktail, his attention was drawn to the stage where a person came to introduce the entertainer. There was a strangely masculine woman who opened her mouth to the song that was playing and the audience tipped her with dollars and everything was so funny he couldn’t help but laugh especially when the woman were doing some sort of kicks into the air. Everything was surreal and he was sure he entered some sort of a strange show but he loved it nonetheless. He asked the bartender about the performer and he was dumbfounded and shocked to learn the woman was actually a man in a wig and makeup.

When Roy turned 18, his parents kicked him out of the house. They no more had the responsibility of looking after him and they just packed his things and waved him goodbye before shutting the doors in front of his face forever. He shrugged and with a little loan from his favourite teacher, he flew to New York. His ability to sew he learnt in school during a secret lessons with Mrs Nelson helped him get a real job in the atelier a week later after his arrival and the money he saved taking a part-time job allowed him to rent a shitty apartment in the suburb of the NY. He was hired to be the assistant for everyone (a guy-on-the-go, actually) in the atelier. The best thing was that he got to use the leftovers of the fabrics and he stayed late sketching and designing clothes for himself, just to cut off this part of the spending. Half a year later they promoted him to customer service boy and he also managed the atelier’s supply of fabric. He started to regularly visit the club near the atelier to relax, and he made quite a few friend there, which really surprised him since everyone found him abrasive back in his hometown, with his cutting jokes. However, NY people seemed to enjoy him. Then, one night the local drag queens hostess threw a makeover competition and Roy was too drunk to refuse when his friends signed him up for it. He was also too drunk to care. While the drag queen were putting makeup on his face, he managed to throw a little bit of shade towards people in the audience and they cackled every time. The hostess admitted he would make a very distinctive, unordinary drag queen which made him laugh since he had never pictured himself as a man in a wig. Roy ended up winning the competition, and he brought home a handmade diploma, which he proudly stuck to the wall just above the toilet, a lipstick and a mascara. He hadn’t fully realised that the journey of the great Bianca Del Rio had just began.

When Roy turned 25, he found himself somewhat popular among the customers of the club where he got his first makeover. He would beat his face, put on the dress and let his evil part take the ruling. He was insulting people on a daily basis and they paid him, they returned for more insults and paid him more. What could be better? He moved from the shitty apartment in the suburb, got a promotion to an amateur designer in the atelier. His talent was noticed accidentally when he was so preoccupied with the upcoming show that he forgot his sketchbook on the table of one of the workers. The morning after they greeted him with a designer badge with his name and he couldn’t be happier. Well, he could. But he prefer not to. He never let himself think he deserves somebody’s love. He also knew the truth behind his pills. With each one he took, his omega part shrunk and as the time went, he couldn’t hear the wolf inside him howling for attention, asking for the alpha. He just tried his hardest to play beta - it was the easiest way. Nobody would love him if they knew he was omega, he was sure of it. His mother's words were too loud in his head. Suppressants became his long time love and his work was his wife. He just stayed alone - it was better this way, he kept reminding himself.

When Roy turned 30, he could say his life was fine. Perfect, almost. He moved away from the suburb into a pretty apartment in Brooklyn, he changed atelier to the Barbara Mater Ltd. where they offered him a full time designer. His professionalism and time management allowed him to work both as the entertainer and the seamstress and he couldn’t be happier. Well, he could, but he prefer to not think about it. He made friends among his colleagues: he was surprised to find himself cackling and drinking wine with the well-known Lady Bunny, a drag star that frequently appeared at his club. As his career was going leaps and bounds, he met a great drag filmmaker named Peaches Christ and they clicked too. Stars were born, stars retired and Roy just stood there waiting for his fame to fade as unexpected as his mother’s change of heart. That wasn’t happening though, he kept finding himself more and more popular with every show, every moment of his time spent in the club he cherished. The calling he used to hear inside of him now sounded lesser than a squeal. He knew somewhere deep down that if he tried, he might just find happiness but he was too afraid to try. Somewhere midst his fall’s heat he found out his favourite pills became illegal in Columbia and California and senators were promoting to extend it on every state. This forced him to reduce the spendings of his pills, take some days off to just stay home, and try to ease the buzzing he hadn’t experienced for a very long time.

When Roy turned 37, he couldn’t help but surrender to Lady Bunny’s methodical approach of constant forcing Roy to audition for the Drag Race that was becoming more popular with every season. He sent his tape without really believing he could make it: he was old and bitter, definitely not the type to compete with youngsters. Just as he was about to announce to Lady Bunny that she failed greatly, he got a call. He still had to say that he couldn’t make it and then he disappeared from every radar possible. Somewhere midst July 2013 he stood at the JFK thinking this was all some kind of a cruel joke when his flight was announced loud and clear. He made sure he had enough suppressants for two months just in case any of the other queens or staff happened to be an unmated alpha. He also hid them good as he was about to enter the state where they were prohibited. At LAX he was met with a staff member, standing awkwardly with “Bianca Del Rio” card and he exhaled, realising his life was about to be turned upside down. He was quite right. The first question they asked when he made it to his hotel room was his status. He lied. Of course, he lied, how he could tell them the truth, it might be exposed accidentally. He was put in the hotel with scotch tapes over the door and made a mental note to joke about a prison once he would be competing. At least, no one would trespass if he would accidentally go in heat. As the competition went on, he sure tried to look as a decent beta but sometimes allowed his softer omega side take over when others needed help. He just sold it off as being a good competitor, which he actually was, just didn't care to admit. He also met wonderful people. Young, but wonderful. He learned to admire the clumsy and messy beauty that was Adore, to look proud at how good-for-nothing-at-first Trinity grew into a confident competitor, to laugh loud at the way Courtney smacked everyone who thought she was just a fishy girl, to appreciate the bitterness Darienne radiated.  He would accidentally call them friends but he didn't let them into his own little hell people usually call mind.

When Roy turned 38, he won Drag Race. The first actual winner, not the one chosen in advance by sponsors. He felt so proud of what he had done, he felt so complete. But he had no one to share his glory with. He had friends, yes, but friends would go to their partners to celebrate and he would be left alone again. Just as he was rewatching the finale for the third time, he noticed the reaction Adore had the first seconds after Latrice read the question aloud. There was fear, there was surprise and there was sadness. Just mere seconds before she placed on the smug facade and joked about the whole situation. And when the camera was turning away, Roy noticed the rushed glance over him and Courtney that was full of sorrow. Could that mean the crush was real? Could that mean Danny found him beautiful enough to fall for? Could that be a person he would be happy with? No, he heard his mother’s voice and it literally ringed in his ears. He was destined to be alone. At least, the Battle of The Seasons Tour were coming soon and he would be surrounded by his friends again and the only two things he would have to care about would be getting his makeup done and delivering his performance. And the suppressants, of course, but no one needed to know about it.

*****

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Roy muttered under his breath while shaking his suitcase open. He may or may not took the last suppressant pill he had despite that his heat was supposed to last at least three more days. “Where?!”

“You alright?” questioned his roommate for the tour, Danny who also goes by the name Adore. He looked at Roy with concern.

“Yeah, I'm fine” he brushed off but then realised Danny did nothing wrong to deserve cold attitude. “Sorry, just nervous. Have you seen my pills’ bag?”

“Why, of course. Last night you were really drunk, like reeeeeaaally drunk, I have never seen you in that state and you threw it out the window saying something like “enough” or “I deserve better”. Maybe check outside" he answered bewildered.

It was raining. It was fucking raining outside for two days straight and he fucking threw his goddamn pills away. He was fucked up, he realised.

He proceeded to Michelle's hotel room and knocked with trembling hands.

“Hey, Michelle” he started, when she opened the door. “Today's the day off, right?”

“Yeah, otherwise I wouldn't let all of you get so drunk I literally had to ask security to carry every single one of you out the bar”

“Fuck” he muttered. “Thanks”

“You alright?” she asked concerned, noticing the unusual nervousness.

“Yeah, fine” he waved and escaped from further questions to his hotel room.

He had to visit a drug store maybe not just one. His pills were very expensive now, since they were marked illegal two years ago because of their effects on the health.

“You sure you're alright?” Danny’s head appeared in the middle of blankets on his bed. “I've never seen you so nervous”

“You just haven't been to my hotel room during Drag Race” he sadly smiled. “Tell Shane I'm off the party today”

“Why?” Danny whined, looking at Roy concerned.

Suddenly, Roy's eyes were wide open and the only thing he could think of was running to the bathroom and slamming the door shut. He stripped down from his clothes and realised it was too late to go anywhere. The heat doesn't negotiate. His sight were blocked by light mist and his mind were wandering back to his home where he had all his sex toys to use. Now he didn't have them and and his need in someone fucking him was increasing rapidly. His ass were burning the way he couldn't  bear and needed to release the tension. His penis was already begging for attention. He looked around the bathroom and didn't find anything to strap himself. This was going to be a nightmare.

“Roy, what's happening?” Danny stood up from his bed and knocked on the bathroom door.

“I'm fine” Roy practically moaned to the words.

“Roy, are you jerking off there? I thought we agreed to do it only when the other was away” Danny said angrily. “That's not cool, dude”

“I'm fine, I will be out in a second” Roy gathered his strength to put his clothes back on.

At least, Danny was a beta, everyone knew it and he was safe out there. He would just politely ask him to go to Shane's room. He opened the door and saw Danny behind it looking equal parts angry and concerned.

“Can you please go to Shane's, I could really use some time alone” he put every last remaining self-control to not look at Danny with puppy eyes. He failed, though.

He noticed how intensely Danny inhaled the air, he noticed all of the sudden how beautiful Danny truly was, and he wondered why he had never realised his friend were so hot. Out of the blue he desperately needed the man in front of him to fuck him, to touch him and make him loved. He looked in Danny's eyes and the sky blue was now replaced with dark deep sapphire blue.

“No” Danny answered in a low growl.

The realisation hit him and his mind went crazy. Danny wasn't a beta. Danny was an alpha. Danny was a free alpha and now he was driven crazy by Roy's heat. Roy was fucked. Or to be completely fair, he would be fucked in a matter of seconds. And he didn't mind at all.

At the same moment as Danny pulled Roy closer, the man leaned in and locked their lips in a heated kiss. His fingers ghosted over Danny’s neck and he bit the boy’s lower lip. The kiss grew from heated but gentle to hungry and demanding. Roy moaned into boy’s mouth and Danny low growled in response.

Danny pinned Roy to now closed bathroom door and dug his nails into the man’s thighs. Roy shoved their hips and grinded a little against Danny’s crotch. The latter harshly breathed out and went for Roy’s neck sucking and slightly biting it. He inhaled the scent of Roy, his nose lingered on the bare skin of Roy's neck and he felt driven away. Everything around didn't matter but Roy. The man was melting in his hands, Roy's touches were burning on his skin.

“You could have let me undress, at least” Roy huskily whispered to Danny's ear.

Danny smiled widely and with two moves ripped all Roy's cloths away. Roy wasn't wearing boxers which made everything a lot easier. Danny felt as if there were more animal to him when he ever felt in his life.

Roy wasn't thinking about the trashed cloths that were thrown somewhere. He only cared about the person in front of him and he wanted to feel the weight of Danny's body on him. He glanced over the bed behind them and his partner didn't need anything more.

“Naked” murmured Roy when he realised Danny was still dressed.

Danny obeyed not even realising it at first. He quickly undressed and looked a little confused at Roy. The latter lifted himself on the elbows so their bare skin would touch in as many places as possible. Their erections touched and both shivered at the hot wave of pleasure and desire that radiated from their bodies. Roy moaned Danny's name before he could bite it back and the boy suddenly stopped.

“Roy, what are we-?” he stuttered terrified, eyes searching for the abandoned clothes.

The man stared at him bewildered; his body following Danny's to return the lost contact. He blinked several times before realising Danny stood up and stepped back. He leaned in for the kiss but Danny stopped him with a gentle move of his hand.

“Roy, I can't… I…” he choked on his words, trying to regain the composure.

Out of nowhere, Roy heard his mother's voice saying, _“Nobody would ever love you. You're unlovable. You're a mistake”_. Despite his body begging for sex and his mind driven by lust, Roy sat straight and realised he was on the verge of tears. Roy didn't want Danny seeing him crying. He rushed to stand up and run to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him before Danny could reach.

“I-” Danny gasped with his stretched to touch Roy but he was late.

Danny noticed the tears in his friend’s eyes and he knew he was the reason behind.

“You don't have to be sorry” Roy's voice was so quiet it could barely be heard through the door. “Just go”

Danny curled in covers and sat on the floor next to the door.

“I need to explain”

“I don't need explanation!” Roy cried. “My mother made it perfectly clear! Nobody can love me, I know it”

“Roy-” Danny's mouth fell open when he processed what his friend just said. “No! You're the most beautiful, the hottest, and the most perfect man I have ever met”

“Stop lying. Just go!” Roy shouted with a loud bang on the door.

“No!”

“Please” he couldn't stop the tears and the lump in his throat made him choke on words.

“Roy, you're-” Danny inhaled. “The moment I met you I thought my life was complete. I felt like something was awaken inside of me, the soul that was sleeping for my whole life and it was calling for you”

“Don't-” Roy was hesitant. He wanted to hear what Danny had to say but at the same time, he wanted him out of here.

“I couldn't understand what the feeling was, because you said you were beta and alphas don't mate with betas” Danny continued, his mind travelled back to when they just met. “All those time during filming I felt drawn to you, my eyes were never leaving you. But nobody would have understood. You wouldn't”

Roy shut himself down to listen. He covered himself with a towel and sat on another one by the door.

“I realised I wasn't too subtle after Latrice asked that 'fan’ question so I played along, I found it easier, but I was wrong" Danny exhaled and closed his eyes. “I love you. I love you, Bianca Del Rio. I love you, Roy Haylock. I love you from head to toe”

Roy forgot how to breathe. He heard hundreds of times as people confessed their feelings to each other but no one ever directed it to him. Nobody has ever said they loved him as a person, not as just an entertainment. He wouldn't believe it, he couldn't. Roy knew he couldn't be loved. Especially by this pure man who sat on the other side of the door. Danny was beautiful, young and reckless. Roy was ugly, old and fearful. Roy was destined to be alone. He lived by these words for far too long to change anything now.

“Your joke has gone too far”

Danny didn't heard him. He brokenly sighed.

“I was so sure I was cursed. An alpha couldn't be with a beta, it's just against every rule. Alphas are made to fit omegas. I wanted to be a friend to you, at least, so I pretended to be beta” somehow Danny wanted to cry so hard, he literally heard someone inside of him howling miserably. “You didn't look at me. You didn't look at anyone”

Roy fought the urge to slam the door open and hug Danny tightly. Roy couldn't know who people were due to the suppressants affecting his mind and scents analysis, and also they shut down his inner wolf. He believed people, just as people believed him.

“I contemplated it for so long and yet I couldn't find an explanation” Danny sighed. “I decided I was probably meant to be a lone wolf and suffer from love while others would enjoy it. I mean, I'm a musician, I get inspired by sad things”

Roy could swear he felt something warm, something others called hope, strengthening somewhere deep in his soul.

“My mom though…” Danny forced himself to continue. “My mom pressed me to find a partner. She always told I shouldn't believe in fairy tales and search for that one mate that was fated for me. I mean, come on, who believe in this? But I do. I still do. Even though I let her win. I bit Kristian. He accepted. Mom loved him, and Mon said he was cool”

The whole world for Roy just shattered. His inner wolf hid his head, squealing bitterly. Roy felt a six-year-old boy all over again. He hoped the world would just stop and rewind two hours back when everything was okay. When he just woke up not knowing about his pills or Danny being an alpha and all this shit. Not just Danny being just an alpha. Danny being the fated alpha who gave his bite to another person. How ironic. He bursted in tears, he bit his lip to blood trying to hold it back. He was alone. Again. Now forever.

“Roy! Roy, open up!” Danny jumped up, tried to open the door but it was locked. “Please, open”

Something inside of Danny howled brokenly. He felt as if he was a lost puppy trying to call his mother back. Something was not right. He suddenly realised, it was the alpha inside of him. His alpha wolf that was actually a part of his soul he always rejected. But mated alpha can't react to a heated omega that's not theirs. The bite affects both alpha and omega, bonding them for the rest of their lives and none could betray the bond. If the bite was given willingly and accepted willingly. At least, that's what his mother told him.

“I don't understand, Roy” Danny was confused and lost. “I feel as my whole being wants to be with you right now but I've bit Kristian and I should be his”

Danny wanted to scratch, to crash the bathroom door that separated him from his Roy. No. Roy wasn't his. Kristian was. Not Roy.

“He didn't” suddenly whispered Roy. “Your omega didn't accept it. Or you wasn't willing enough to give it”

“Is that even possible?”

The wolf inside of Roy perked his head up, ears standing straight. There was hope, he could be happy.

“Ask yourself”

Danny was puzzled. He never talked to his inner self. More to that he didn't even know about it until recently. He had no idea how to do it. Everything was new to him. Danny mentally asked his wolf. Nothing happened. He tried again. Nothing. He wanted to have hope, he wanted to fix everything. Maybe he still had a chance to be happy. With all due respect to Kristian, he never loved him fully, he never actually wanted to be with him. Even during Kristian’s heat, Danny was okay and he could control himself fully. In contrast to several minutes ago when the world around just stopped and the only thing existing was Roy. He asked for the last time. A tiny quiet squeal was the first thing he felt, followed by a loud long howl coming from a lone wolf. Danny's ears ringed. He could feel it, he was free. There were no bite holding him back. He wasn't tied to Kristian. He could be with Roy. He finally was able to be with someone he loved with all his heart.

Danny lightly knocked on the door. It stayed closed and Danny decided Roy didn't want to see him. He probably needed time. That's okay, Danny thought. He could wait. Now when he knew there was someone for him in this world, he could wait.

The door creaked open. There was Roy, looking a little bit too broken and Danny's heart hurt. He leaned in to hug the omega and the wolf happily stomped his paws somewhere inside. He suddenly felt the urge to protect and care for the omega in his arms.

For the first time in 40 years, Roy felt safe. Like there was two feet wide wall hiding him from the world. But that was just Danny's arms around him and he didn't complain. The warmth radiating from Danny covered him.

“I-I like you. I care about you. I want you. You're important to me” Roy whispered, trying to catch his breath. “I just need to learn how to love. I never loved before”

“I will wait. I will wait and I will love for both of us” Danny gently pulled Roy's chin up, looking him straight into the eyes. _“I found you"_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I didn't disappoint y'all ;D  
> this is not my first work in RPDR fandom but surely the first one finished  
> please if you see any mistakes don't hesitate to point them out for me, I appreciate concrit  
> also it's a sheet load of text (pun intended) but that's how it struck me


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